Alternate Girl (the rest of chapter one)

Alternate girl follows
the curve
of

the Pasig River;
follows its
wind,

follows
its stink.
Murky waters old
as
time. (no
matter how you

dredge
the memory
of stink remains.)

She
sees lights
on the river,

Lights along the
river bank,
Knows

whose homes are
lighted by
candles

and whose homes
are connected
with

illegal wires to
cables running
from

one street to
the other.
Age-old

practice
you don’t
forget no matter

the number of
miles/airmiles
you collect from

years of flying
to and
fro

between
this place
and that continent.

She follows the
river and
lights,

listens
to sounds
carried on wind.

It
is never
silent in this

place.
There is
always someone crying.

There is always
someone cursing,
always

someone
praying for
help that doesn’t

arrive-
at least
never on time.

Until tonight.
***
Float
on with
your ears open.

You will hear
a baby
crying.

Its wails piercing
the restless
night.

Its forlorn cry
hushing fighting
couples,

Stealing the breath
from cursing
boys

Turning the thief
from his
stealing.

She follows the
cry. Floats
on

until she sees
a poor
excuse

for a house.
***
Inside
a mother
holds a baby.

She
must have
been a beauty

before she said
Yes and
embraced

this life so
much the
same

as the lives
her parents
lived.

What else is
there to
dream

of
when you
don’t see anything

but
this and
when you don’t

hear anyone say
you are
better

you can be
better than
this?

***

Alternate Girl watches
through the
window.

Sees the mother
wipe tears
away.

Her heart breaks.
she could
have

been
that mother.
She could have

been
that long
ago beauty queen

crying
tears over
a feverish child.
***

Third act…

Alternate girl’s home
built of
brick

the front garden
her calling
card.

Every other Monday
she attacks
weeds


gardening
in style:
flowered rubber boots

the latest shovel
anti-insect spray
anti-snail

anti-aphid
anti-mildew, anti-rot
anti-every possible pest

you can think
of under
the

sun.
Of which,
There isn’t much

all year round.
Unlike back
home

where the sun
always shines
or

so
the travel
brochures proudly declare.

She
lavishes care
on her perennials

brushes
their leaves
to high shine

Wraps bubble wrap
around them
when

temperatures
sink below
zero. Waters them

during
summer months
that are slowly



turning
tropical. It’s
almost like home.

Almost
but not
quite the same.

Enjoy
the summer
while you can

when
winter comes
you can dream

all you want
but the
sun

never shines bright
and warm
like

it does right
here and
now.
***

Question:
What do
You miss most?

Who do you
Miss most?
If

You
Had one
Wish what would

You wish for?

Alternate girl
Stares

At
The screen
Another silly questionnaire

Always
The same
Spam, spam mail

Except
This one
Comes from friends

They think it’s
A sign
Of

Friendship
To pass
On the junk

That makes them
Laugh. Because
Laughter

Is
A precious
Commodity. Not to

Be wasted on the ungrateful.

She answers the
Questions anyway.
Silly

Or not, she
loves her
Friends.

***
Evenings
Hubby returns
From the office

Long hours spent
Behind a
Desk

Somewhere in a
Giant warehouse
Lost

Among a hundred
Other employees
All

Wearing
The same
Color of shirt

All
Working towards
Same nameless goal.

How many numbers
Have you
Added

Up today? How
Many numbers?
How

Many?
That’s how
Alternate girl imagines

It.
She doesn’t
Envy her husband.

His job provides
Food, shelter,
Clothing

Luxuries,
Garden supplies
Cleaning supplies, everything

The excess baggage
Of life
And

So on and
So forth
And

So on and
So forth
Until

Until…
***

Return to Pasig
To a
Hut

On the banks
Of the
River

Return to the
Place where
You

Hover
Over the
Poor mother’s shoulder

Return to where
Her tears
Spill

Over her baby
Poor, emaciated
Ragged

Fighting for breath
Fighting for
Life.

Hope
Fighting for
Life in this

Hovel of broken
Dreams. Home
To

Mother and son
Fighting for
Life

Because
As long
As you live

You have hope.
Alternate girl
Sees

Hope’s
Gentle spark
Lighting the corners

Of this tiny
Excuse called
Home.

She
Sees the
Mother’s hands are

Calloused
And worn
From washing clothes.

This
Is where
Dreams of glory

Give way to
The fight
For

Life,
The mundane
Struggle to survive,

The fight for
A better
Future.

A tomorrow for:
This baby
Gasping

For the next
Breath and
Crying

An angry wail
Angry and
Wild.

Life
Pouring out
Of its pores

Alternate girl thinks:
It will
Break

The baby will
Break into
Pieces

It will split
Apart and
Burst

Into a million
unquiet atoms
Populating

Space
With the
Echo of its

Cry, its cough
Its unrelenting
Fight

Its
Unyielding hold
Because as long

As you fight
As long
As

You live there
Is always
Hope.

***

Alternate girl wakes.
It is
Midnight.

The walls of
Her room
Are

Dark
Around her
Everything is dark.

In the silence
Her husband
Snores,

Turns
Over, falls
Silent, snores again.

Rising and falling
In the
Quiet,

She is weeping
Into her
Pillow,

Remembering
Another mother
Holding another child,

Pleading for life,
Pleading for
Help

That never comes,
Until too
Late.


(It's still quite rough, but there you are. This is the end of the first chapter in the life of Alternate Girl. Chapter two: Alternate Girl meets Adventure Boy...coming soon).